My Reiki Journey
Posted by Kelly (kelly) on Jan 24 2010 at 4:29 PM
Grow in your Sleep >> Blog

Out of the darkness: My Reiki story

by Kelly Chester 2006

I started my journey long before I found Reiki or Reiki found me.  I was 25 and in a long-term relationship.  I had a house, two cars, and a good life style or so I thought.  I often felt quite empty and drained and unfulfilled.  My ex-partner and I were on the road to self-destruct.  We had both been though some times and we were both plagued by insecurities.  On the surface we looked like we had everything going for us.  To cut a long story short, my ex had a nervous breakdown and was sectioned, I ended up homeless and in serious dept and also on the brink of a breakdown. 

I have fantastic friends and family, who helped me through this very dark period.  My friend let me stay at her place, and then she found a flat for me to rent.  I had very little to live on and fell into depression and anxiety.  Most people did not notice I was depressed.  I went trough the motions for about two years, just going to work and keeping things ticking over.

 I work with people with physical disabilities and one of the clients noticed my sadness.  She said I looked dead behind my eyes.  Most people just saw that I was my usual happy, smiley self, but she saw inside me.  We helped each other by starting a Health Promotion group, growing with the group and supporting each other.  Things came to a head though and I started not to cope.  My anger started to grow and I was losing my patience.  My boss referred me to the staff counsellor. I was suffering from nervous exhaustion and my energy levels where low.   

I have always been into sports and trained in boxing for eight years but this stopped fulfilling me.  I joined the Iyenga Yoga Institute, which has been my saviour. I needed to do the restorative class for a year before I went onto normal hard working yoga.  I did not know how to relax.  I started to gain my strength and my confidence began to grow.  I started to see a light at the end of the very dark tunnel.  I finished my Diploma in Health and Social Welfare, Counselling course and various other things, which I put on hold whilst I cared for my sick ex-boyfriend in the last year of our relationship.  The last I heard was he was fit and strong again and has learned from his break down.  As the saying goes break down or break through.  I was not completely healed and was still emotionally battered but I was getting stronger by the day.

One day I walked into a Mind, Body, Spirit event in my local theatre.  I met a guy called Gary Lester whom I got talking to about Reiki and energy.  I felt a real connection with him and left with his card.  I then was drawn to this lady who had a purple cover on her table.  She gave me a reading and did not hold back when she went through my past.  I have had readings before, but this lady really went to the core.   She went through all the dark periods and said that if I stayed on the road I was on I would have ended up very sick.  She could see that I had gifts and said that I would be very good at alternative therapies.  I gave a lot of thought to that reading and carried on as normal for a few weeks.  I then got invited to the Mind body Spirit festival at another event. 

I decided to go with my friend as she had decided that she would like to learn Reiki.  We decided to do it together and said we would like to do it on a weekend break.  I did not connect with the Reiki Master too well though and started to have my doubts about doing the class with her.  I was not sure why, but my friend felt the same way.  Well something happened and they lost the venue.  We asked for a refund and it took a lot of time and trouble to get back the money.  I kept thinking that I should have gone with my first instinct and I rang Gary.  I felt like I had come home.  Gary was so warm and down to earth, just what I was looking for. 

Just before I was about to do the course I lost my Granddad, and then I lost my father to Cancer.  It was all very sudden, I spent the last month of his life looking after him and taking care of my mother, who became very dependent on me.  I found it hard at first seeing my mum all vulnerable and fragile. 

My mother has always been a very strong lady.  She has never asked me for Reiki and I will not give her a treatment until she is ready.  She deals with her life in a totally different way to me.  We now respect each other’s lives more and she can appreciate that we are different.  She wanted me to settled down and have kids, and live near her.  I am also a very strong-willed and determined young lady who knows her own mind and did not want to have the simple life.  I was attracted to moving to London and making a career for myself.  She lets me get on with things now, because she knows I can cope. 

In the mist of grieving for my father, the Reiki kind of created a connection between my mother and me.  Although my mum does not ask for Reiki and finds it a bit too new agey, she looks in amazement when I give my dad’s dog Reiki.  The dog was going though the grieving process too and was really missing my dad.  My mum would laugh when the dog would go boss-eyed and she’d ask what I was doing to the poor dog.  I told her I was doing Reiki.  Just like I did to my father before he died.  I had not done the course at that point, but still gave comfort to my dad, and in turn to my mum, who watched him become more at peace. 

During the course I gave myself Reiki every day and it became the norm.  Gary was wonderful; he gave me extra treatments and helped me to work through my grieving process. 

It was when I did the Reiki II that things started to move.  I was sat on my lunch break the day after my initiation when the floodgates opened.  The tears started to flow and they would not stop for what seemed like ages.  I felt so much lighter and clearer.  I could not cry until that point, as I have always had to be strong, and saw it as a weakness to show my emotion.  I was a bit emotional for a couple of days but started to cope with life in a different way. 

I am dyslexic and used to have great difficulty with writing.  I have overcome those problems and love writing.  One day I was reading an article in a magazine, which made me quite angry.  It said Reiki was not really a very good therapy as it can be learned in a month and people are ready to treat the public.  Although you can treat the public straight away, I find very few people do, as Reiki is about finding yourself and healing yourself first.  How can you treat others until you learn how to heal yourself? 

I did not change over night, but gradually my life became more focused and I started to ditch people out of my life who where negative and valued the people who have supported me through the bad times and the good.  I have met some fantastic people since I have done my Reiki.  The first two years I was not really quite sure of what I was supposed to do with the Reiki, as I did not know of any people in my area that had done Reiki. 

Things where starting to come together at last.  I had my own place, money in the bank, a car and a business.  I started to become more curious about Reiki and wanted to meet other people.  I joined The Reiki Association at the recommendation of my Master as he felt I was ready to move on.  I read Touch about Reiki share groups and saw that Louisa Booth had a share session in my area.  I phoned her and immediately felt at ease with her.  We exchanged detail and Louisa invited me to the Reiki share.  I got very lost on route, but the ladies in the group where very helpful and came to find me.  We had a wonderful evening together and it was so nice to meet such lovely people. 

I went to the annual Reiki Gathering in Wales.  I stayed in Buckland Hall, which is the most amazing place in the Brecon Beacons.  The place had such a wonderful energy.  Sixty Reiki people all stayed in the same location.  I met some wonderful people, who had great stories to tell.  Wanja was the main speaker; she was one of the first Reiki Masters to be initiated by Mrs Takata.  She was so captivating and such a great inspiration.  She talked about living your life honestly.  I listened to what she said and then decided I needed to go for a walk in the wonderful surroundings.  I made a list of the pros and cons of leaving my job as an NVQ assessor and worked out that I could afford to give up that job and go back to my council job full time.  It was a real weight off my shoulders when I made that decision.  I gave in my notice as soon as I got back to London. 

Then people started to ring me up and asked me where I had been.  I told them that I just needed to have some ‘me’ time.  They told me not to disappear for so long next time.  I just needed this time to give myself a chance to get rid of layers of my past before I could give again.  I spoke to Louisa Booth about how I tried to sabotage the Reiki etc and she said that it will never go away and you just need to trust that the Reiki is brining things to the surface.  She said think of yourself as an onion, the layers just keep peeling off and reaching to the surface for you to deal with.  Once that has happened you will be ready to become a great healer.  Reiki really makes you take a long, hard look at yourself.  I am not so hard on myself now and trust that Reiki is my friend and will always be there for me.  One of the biggest things I have learned is to ask for help. 

I have grown so much and feel so good about everything now.